I Still Love Him
by Deximon
Summary: Cherry's thoughts on Bob and his very person. Takes place before, during, and after the book. ANGSTY ONE-SHOT! Based on an animatic I saw.


_And I remember when I met him  
__It was so clear that he was the only one for me_

The words on the newspaper became a blur to her, whether it was through her tears or the force of the realization smacking over her like a wave on the ocean. Her boyfriend was gone, killed by a frightened accident by that sweet-hearted tanned greaser that defended her against Dallas Winston and was beaten up by her lover only four months before.

The memories swam in her wave of shock, the first being when she met him. The way he never stopped talking about his accomplishments: his position on the football team, his leading role in his group of friends, the chilling number of greaser he jumped, Johnny Cade being worse. And those rings.

Those rings.

He was so proud of them.

Somehow, she fell for him. Just by the way he talked and his troubled minor lightened something in her soul. Like..

He was meant for her.

And he was ripped away. And for what? Talking to them? For picking up his "girl"?

_We both knew it right away  
And as the years went on, things got more difficult  
We were faced with more challenges_

She remembered the problem with his alcohol. And although she wasn't happy, she knew he had a reason hidden.

His parents.

Although one would be happy for a parents who doesn't allow them to get punished, Bob wasn't. It was his craving: wanting his darling mother and father to tell him no. To tell him that his words and actions weren't okay. But they kept blaming themselves; they set no rules or limits and boundaries.

So he took another step.

He became more dangerous, more dark. He drank more, so much that the reason he met his doom was because of his good idea of bringing the booze to get drunk while she and her best friend went to enjoy a decent movie.

The actions hurting the Cade boy.

More hurting than Cherry suspected his life was giving him.

_I begged him to stay  
Trying to remember what we had in the beginning_

She remembered the final choice of words she granted to him. She was angry at him. She still never understood what he saw in the greaser that made him want to hurt them. They were people like them, and only wanted to belong.

She wanted him to adjust, let go of his inner anger at the world. Anger at someone who never deserved it, and anger she knows in her heart will result in someone or himself getting killed.

_But he was charismatic, magnetic, electric  
__And everybody knew it_

Cherry recalled the bitterness and anger in his voice while getting their popcorn. "He was wearing a few rings."

She recalled the fast flabber on his lips, the fearful confession in drowning in the memory of watching his best friend weild the scar, gain the pain and threats given by someone who was so close to her.

And it hurt.

She was left feeling like she wanted to go be sick on her snack, and she wanted to make her close person with the original name believe that not all Socs were like that.

That she would never be like that.

That he surely never meant to become someone like that.

_When he walked in, every woman's head turned  
__Everyone stood up to talk to him_

When they walked through the streets and their school, women and boys would stare at him and his boldness, his confidence, his looks.

A doll, the girls called him.

A man, the boys said.

She knew for a while that he was a face in the crowd, a person meant for the people.

He was someone who was a natural in social skills that she appreciated. And he was a friendly quick-witted teenager who could come up with a comment perfect for ears in a second, leaving his listeners crying and laughing to all his charms.

_He was like this hybrid, this mix  
__Of a man who couldn't contain himself_

He was expressive on what he believed; Cherry was amused with that trait he carried.

He never was able to keep any information that he deemed necessary to be important inside. Instead, he spoke whatever felt right, what felt so just.

Like the way he snapped at her when he and Randy found their girls outside the movie house, asking her what she was doing and where she was going.

Like how he followed up his statement on how they were a "little" drunk and how she shouted back with how it would be the choice of the vodka or his girlfriend. And how the two had more in the backseat, and they could gladly put up a fight.

In fairness, it was because of the hybrid that was her boyfriend that she grew to find a hatred in fights.

And it was his hybrid self that costed him his life, the drinking and vengeance stirring inside on harming the kind boys who were nothing but gentlemen, something Bob bothered to notice.

_I always got the sense that he became torn  
__Between being a good person  
And missing out on all the opportunities life could offer  
To a man as magnificent as him_

She couldn't stress enough how she wanted to tell Ponyboy that she wanted to see him in the hospital.

She owed so much for the now-blonde greaser that Johnny was in critical condition, and she owed it to Johnny himself because of what he has already gone through.

She just couldn't.

However, it wasn't the sense of betrayal. Cherry has already committed that just by talking to them in the theater that night. But it was because of a side that they never knew, because of the side he chose to keep hidden but she knew better.

She was already so aware of how he was a good person. He was a good man in his heart, somewhere deep inside. But on the streets..he was stuck in a position where he chose to believe that the horrid choices were good, like scarring Johnny the first time, only to make him take drastic measure to ensure his friend that it wouldn't happen to him.

_And in that way  
I understood him_

_And I loved him  
I loved him  
I loved him  
I loved him_

She never stopped loving him.

He was a man who was an abstract person the time she knew him, but it was a man she felt passionate about. This was a man who was the first among three whose lives were taken within a week.

And with that, she went to all three funerals.

She felt so much.

She loved so much.

She loved Bob Sheldon.

With all her heart.

_And I still love him.  
I love him..._

**oooOOooo**

**God, that will give me tears someday.**

**Let me clarrify: I still don't like Bob. He is my least favorite character, as apply to many because he hurt my little tan onion child. }:(**

**But I watched a Heathers animatic on this and it gave me that sense of humanity on JD, and since it sudden reminded me of Bob, I wanted to at least give him an insight on what Cherry saw in him, since many of us don't understan enough. Give him a reason he was the way he was.**

**Why she loved him.**

**Hope you enjoyed it. See you next time! Thx for reading! ;D**

**-Deximon**


End file.
